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 Subjek post: Single and 30
PostDipost: Jum Mar 23, 2018 9:26 pm 
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Deskripsi diri: The reason i prefer to only do one on one if it comes to that- Because i believe that altruism is something human can practice in many ways
Greetings, everyone! :)
I'm wondering how do you guys handle those questions related to age and married?? You know, there is one intimidating custom in Indonesia toward single young adult where people should get married in certain age.
I my self..I am 30, single, also have been dealing with such anoying situations all the time, but it's easy for me to get away from the topic because i still have one older brother who is also not married, yet.
So Guys, feel free to let me know your stories.

Kiss.

PS:Sorry for my English, still learning here. :belajarkeras:

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Picture me; Male, 30s, 170cm/70kg, toned, tattoos on inner arm and left chest, tan skin, facial hair, and ready to build a family.. are you??


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 Subjek post: Re: Single and 30
PostDipost: Jum Mar 23, 2018 11:48 pm 
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Don't listen what other people said to you, because you have full control of your live. If you 30 y/o and still single it's ok,

i am still 25 - single, i still build my financial and (still) don't have any plant to married. Following what people said to you just like infinity loops, keep moving and never end.

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 Subjek post: Re: Single and 30
PostDipost: Sab Mar 24, 2018 2:51 am 
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Gonna be 30 this year. When being asked with this question usually I use just smile and wave move and no one ever really bothered me with such maybe because I display my childish side to people.


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 Subjek post: Re: Single and 30
PostDipost: Sab Mar 24, 2018 2:51 am 
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Deskripsi diri: The reason i prefer to only do one on one if it comes to that- Because i believe that altruism is something human can practice in many ways
Asta menulis:
Don't listen what other people said to you, because you have full control of your live. If you 30 y/o and still single it's ok,

i am still 25 - single, i still build my financial and (still) don't have any plant to married. Following what people said to you just like infinity loops, keep moving and never end.


I am in full control of my life..that's so true, man.. And i am lucky to be surrounded by family and friends who are really supportive when it comes to taking personal life choice, an environment everyone should have to really live life. Although..it was hard for me to have this heavy talk with my Mom telling her that i will never get married. I saw her trying to be strong and not crying, but i kind a get her emotion; how her heart fell apart. Doesn's matter how can she deals with it, she's a mother, and every mother wants grandchildren from her every child, she wants me to have a woman who takes care of me..and i really understand her concern. It was a year ago when i told her, and i just still can't forget that face. And yeah..CAPITAL. Either you are straight or gay, life's always easier when you have money, and that's as well what's i am working on right now.

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Picture me; Male, 30s, 170cm/70kg, toned, tattoos on inner arm and left chest, tan skin, facial hair, and ready to build a family.. are you??


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 Subjek post: Re: Single and 30
PostDipost: Sab Mar 24, 2018 2:54 am 
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Deskripsi diri: The reason i prefer to only do one on one if it comes to that- Because i believe that altruism is something human can practice in many ways
hidingayzero menulis:
Gonna be 30 this year. When being asked with this question usually I use just smile and wave move and no one ever really bothered me with such maybe because I display my childish side to people.


Oh Man..LOL :tertawa:

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Picture me; Male, 30s, 170cm/70kg, toned, tattoos on inner arm and left chest, tan skin, facial hair, and ready to build a family.. are you??


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 Subjek post: Re: Single and 30
PostDipost: Sel Apr 03, 2018 11:53 pm 
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Bergabung: Min Jan 13, 2013 8:01 pm
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"When will you tie the knot?"

I have no idea how many people have asked that annoying question to me.
countless....!

And I always giving them the answer because "Nobody likes me!" and it works all the time! (the perks of being ugly) :D

I don't really care what people said! especially because the don't pay my bills!

But I do care when my mom asking me those questions! the fact that I'm turning 28 on my birthday this year, and considering I'm the only one who haven't married just yet, closeted gay guy...,
it's just driving me crazy!

Sometimes I even think to get out of this town or the country rather, married to a good guy! and everything would be just fine as long as you give credits [read: money] to your mom!

well happiness needs a sacrifices right?

because what matters to me is "To be happy" married... or not married...

but... isn't it awful?


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 Subjek post: Re: Single and 30
PostDipost: Rab Apr 25, 2018 11:42 pm 
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Bergabung: Sel Sep 24, 2013 12:06 am
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Deskripsi diri: To be a good man + a good brother + a good friend + a better life partner
My mother never asked me when I get married or had a girlfriend or not. It is my friend who often asks me that question. That's annoying. I also never planned to tell the truth about my sexual orientation to my mom and family. If asked for future life plans, I want to pursue my career and want to be well established. Then look for a Man to be a life Partner, whether it's married or not.

Sorry ya, my english is not good yet ;-)


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 Subjek post: Re: Single and 30
PostDipost: Jum Apr 27, 2018 12:02 am 
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Bergabung: Sab Des 17, 2016 10:37 pm
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erickandrew menulis:
"When will you tie the knot?"

I have no idea how many people have asked that annoying question to me.
countless....!

And I always giving them the answer because "Nobody likes me!" and it works all the time! (the perks of being ugly) :D

I don't really care what people said! especially because the don't pay my bills!

But I do care when my mom asking me those questions! the fact that I'm turning 28 on my birthday this year, and considering I'm the only one who haven't married just yet, closeted gay guy...,
it's just driving me crazy!

Sometimes I even think to get out of this town or the country rather, married to a good guy! and everything would be just fine as long as you give credits [read: money] to your mom!

well happiness needs a sacrifices right?

because what matters to me is "To be happy" married... or not married...

but... isn't it awful?


I'm disagree with what you're saying. for me it's not a sacrifice it's always options. Each of us define happiness in a different way. some choose to make a fake life together in order not to keep their family faces, other choose to banging (yes I mean that banging) people around. we don't need to judge others choices instead we need to focus what we want in our life and build our current life toward it. I think the nice thing about this forum is people share their life and we can read and learn the choices they made.


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 Subjek post: Re: Single and 30
PostDipost: Min Apr 29, 2018 8:24 pm 
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for your information, i am not 30 years old just yet, but will be. i am bisexual, but i love my boyfriend. i have thought about having a 'normal' family as you would say. but never think too much about it. maybe because i am not 30 yet. but let me tell you what i think, make someone else happy and sacrifice yourself is not healthy at all. for example, your parents want you to get married and have a family. and you do it. everyone is happy except you. but in the end the truth will come up whether you want it or not. since you are not happy with your life, your wife, it will shown on your face now or later, and you may fight with your wife and in the end get divorced. and your parents will be hurt, and you too, and your wife too, and if you have kids they will be hurt too.

i know it is hard, especially living on eastern culture that did not openly accept gays. me my self is still in the closet (not really actually, i've told one of my besties that i am gay) and i don't know will i tell my parents about my sexual orientation or not. but if i wont be happy if i get married to a woman, i'll definitely tell my parents about my sexual orientation, it will be hard for us, for me and for my family to accept me. maybe they wont, those are my consequences i need to deal with. i'll be glad if they accept me for who i am, but if they dont, well it's too bad. we are all deserve to be happy, and i think no one should interfere, even if it were your parents. because this is the life that God gave you, and you are the only one who can decide what to do and what not. you are an adult.

well this is just my opinion, everyone may have different perspectives and opinions and i respect that.
thankyouu

_________________
The only way to love IS NOT by loving someone perfect, but by loving someone IMPERFECT perfectly


Diubah terakhir kali oleh secret|admirer on Sel Mei 01, 2018 12:09 am, total pengubahan 2 kali.

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 Subjek post: Re: Single and 30
PostDipost: Sen Apr 30, 2018 1:32 am 
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ah, i'm not 30 yet. but those questions are already haunting me.

i think if those question coming i'll just say it is not your business. or maybe i'll coming out. or maybe i ran away from my family before i reach that age. LoL

i really don't have a plan.

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 Subjek post: Re: Single and 30
PostDipost: Sel Mei 01, 2018 5:09 am 
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Hi Hidinggayzero...

Well, I'm just giving my opinion here, and didn't mean to judge everyone's life or decision they made!
Of course every one of us had to define our own happiness! But I believe some of us can relate to my experience, while others can relate to yours! and that's fine, because that was life! and life gave us too many choices.
But like or not, I think sacrifice is an option... whether is the path you have chosen or not,
it will be there.
waiting for someone! and probably,
sacrifice is the only way to someone defines his own happiness...
for your record! I didn't want to judge everyone's choices here (especially to you!), because I didn't need to!
but if my words sounds like I was, then consider me as a stupid jerk!
Indeed, this forum is about people shares their life, I can read and learn about your decision in life, and maybe you too??
both of our perspectives are matters.. Agree or Disagree.


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 Subjek post: Re: Single and 30
PostDipost: Sel Mei 01, 2018 6:02 pm 
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I'm not saying it's a sacrifice because I don't want to look back one day and regret of what I did. My definition of sacrifice means we try to lose something in order to gain another thing as options mean I choose something that I consider as the best path to achieve my envisioned goal.

To choose equals to sacrifice I get your point and I hope you choose carefully.

By the way I'm also still single all the example I said above is not my experience nor my way current way of life.


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 Subjek post: Re: Single and 30
PostDipost: Sel Mei 29, 2018 5:02 am 
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Deskripsi diri: I am a complicated one - looking for simplicity in a friendship
yourdreamhusband menulis:
Greetings, everyone! :)
I'm wondering how do you guys handle those questions related to age and married?? You know, there is one intimidating custom in Indonesia toward single young adult where people should get married in certain age.
I my self..I am 30, single, also have been dealing with such anoying situations all the time, but it's easy for me to get away from the topic because i still have one older brother who is also not married, yet.
So Guys, feel free to let me know your stories.

Kiss.

PS:Sorry for my English, still learning here. :belajarkeras:



I.m turning 30 this year, and as for someone who works in public service, I found the question is quite annoying - especially when asked in the crowd or in front of some colleagues. Out of five siblings in my family, just me and my youngest brother who is not married yet. I.m the second son in my family.
It depends on who gives me the question, my answer is consistently varies :D
- younger children tend to ask whether I have a girlfriend (I love man, kids :p) or not; and I always state that I.m not dating anyone because I don.t want to give them any wrong example
- older kids tend to ask about my Ex.s, they tried to dig deeper about my romantic life and for the last resort I told them that my last loved one has been passed away (it will give them a moment of sympathy so I can safely change the topic).
Children are easy to distract, tough it doesn.t mean they will forget anything I said.

- Older people are tricky to deal because they don.t speak their mind openly. If they ask me about marriage and such, I told them that I want to pursue a higher degree in my education and career. At least, it was the most reasonable answer I can give, to make them sure that I only delay (my marriage) for another two or three years. After that? I don.t know. My plan is to go abroad to pursue another degree, but who knows?

In this modern culture, some people may think it.s odd for someone who have reached 30 and have been working since 24, but never seen dating a girl. Maybe some of them wonder whether I.m normal or not. It doesn.t matter, as long as it.s in their head. I.m a bit relieved that I was born in a religious family, where it.s uncommon for the family members to date someone. It can be a double-edged sword, tough.

I.m not giving up yet, although the only option I have now is being single, it.s much better than ruining my whole family for my selfish desire.


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 Subjek post: Re: Single and 30
PostDipost: Jum Jul 06, 2018 3:57 pm 
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answer it using maui's style

random people= so who will you marry
me= some people named nunya
rp= nunya who
me= nunya business


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 Subjek post: Re: Single and 30
PostDipost: Min Jul 08, 2018 11:38 pm 
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Hi, I'm in my 28th, and it becomes my biggest concern since last year. And this is one of the reasons I'm afraid to have a relationship with a man again.
Turn out that I think differently with most comments before me. I will try to get married, to someone that I don't really love. But, she chooses me.
I still discreet until now. I don't know. This social condition makes a barrier for myself. I know that I have a control for myself, but still, it depends on the social environment.
They already classified which is usual and unusual. I had fallen in love with a man before but in the end, It just like I don't have a future with him. I tried to planning something great, with him. They appear options like fake marriage, living together with your partner far from your family etc. But you should know what is your partner characters like (ex for me). And it didn't work at all for me, My plan is ruined, I broke up with him after 1 and half year and here I am. Living my life following the flow :)

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 Subjek post: Re: Single and 30
PostDipost: Min Mar 24, 2019 12:56 pm 
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wawwwww bingung mau kommen apa but ceritanya seru !!


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